Dear EKC: What's it Like to Go to Therapy?

Dear EKC,

I’ve been thinking about going to therapy, but honestly I’m a little intimidated. I have no idea what to expect. Part of me feels like it could be helpful, but another part of me wonders if my problems are even “big enough” to need therapy. I don’t have a diagnosis or anything and I don’t even know what I’d say in a session. 

I feel like in general it’s a “good thing to do,” so I’m leaning towards giving it a go–but what if I don’t know how to answer the therapist’s questions? Or what if they want me to share personal things right away and I’m not ready? What if I go once and realize I don’t actually want to keep going? 

Most of what I know about therapy comes from movies. People lie on a couch and talk about their childhood for hours and the therapist writes things down. It has to be more than that, right? That just seems like a weird way to spend an afternoon. So—I guess I just want to know, what’s therapy really like? How do I know if I should try it out?

-Cautiously Curious

Dear Curious, 

I love that you asked this!! A lot of people feel unsure about starting therapy and there are plenty of myths that make it seem more intimidating than it actually is. First, let’s clear up a big one: you don’t have to be in crisis to go to therapy. Therapy isn’t just for people who are at their lowest point; it’s for anyone who wants support. Would you wait until you were so sick that you needed to be hospitalized before you visited a doctor? Of course not! 

You also don’t need a diagnosis to go. Some people find labels helpful, but therapy’s more about understanding what’s going on in your life and finding ways to cope. You don’t have to fit into a specific category, or even think you might. You can just come and see how you feel about it. We can work through something specific or just make a space for you to talk things out. 

Another common myth (we’re really mythbusting today!) is that therapy’s just lying on a couch while someone silently analyzes you. Actually, therapy can look very different depending on your therapist and what works best for you. Some sessions include a lot of talking, but for others you might draw, journal, play games, or even listen to music. 

And while therapists are great at picking up on patterns, they can’t read your mind. If something feels important to you, you can (and should!) bring it up, but you’ll never be forced to talk about anything before you’re ready. Therapy moves at your pace. And another thing? We don’t judge. We’re not going to judge anything you have to say. We’re literally professionals at not judging, so you can share anything you’d like to share in a safe space. We’re in your corner, all the way. 

You’re also not committing for years of therapy by trying out a session! Some people just go for a few sessions to work through a specific issue, while others find it helpful and keep going for a few months, or a few years. Either way, you and your therapist will regularly check in to see if therapy’s meeting your needs. And while it can be deep and emotional at times, it’s definitely not all heavy conversations. A lot of sessions include laughter, lighter moments, even jokes—therapy’s about being fully yourself, and that includes the good days, too. 

Something I hear a lot from people thinking about trying out therapy is that they’re concerned about privacy. It can feel scary to think about others finding out you’re in therapy—but the truth is, it’s really common. Most people get supportive reactions when they open up about it. And if you’re worried about your parents knowing what you talk about, therapists are bound by confidentiality. They won’t share anything you say unless they’re worried about your safety. 

So what can you expect from your first session? It’s completely normal to feel nervous, but most people find that it fades quickly. Your therapist will focus on getting to know you: what’s going on in your life, where you’d like support, what kind of help might work best. If you’re under 18, they might also meet with your parents to get their perspective—but that doesn’t mean your parents control your therapy. You have a say in what happens next. Together, you and your therapist will make a plan, deciding how often to meet and what approach feels right. 

Therapy isn’t a quick fix and your therapist won’t magically solve all your problems. But what we can do is help you understand yourself better, find new ways to handle challenges, and remind you that you’re not alone. You might be surprised at how much things can change just by having a safe space to talk. If you’re on the fence about it, it doesn’t hurt to try. The first step is often the hardest—but you might just find that it’s worth taking. 

Sending the best thoughts your way, 

Inka Homanen

Psychologist & Ad-hoc EKC Team Member