Let’s Talk About Screen Time
Ahh screen time. It’s one of the most common topics we encounter at EKC and with good reason. A 2023 study of screen time statistics showed that 53.6% of kids aged 6-14 had over two hours of screen time per day—and the number’s growing. Naturally, many parents worry about how much screen time their children are getting, and throwing an international move into the mix makes it even harder.
It’s easy to hand over a tablet or a phone when your child’s struggling with such a big transition—but at the same time, how much is too much? Is screen time bad for kids? You want to make sure they’re not leaning too much on digital connections; you also want to make sure they keep touch with friends. How do you balance it all when you’re feeling stressed, too?
The key is to find that sweet spot for your family: not cutting out screens completely but also not letting them take over.
For expat kids, screen time plays a different role for their peers who have lived in one place all their lives. The internet allows your children to keep in touch with friends from their previous home. It offers a sense of stability during a period of major change. And it’s reasonable to give them more screen time to maintain these relationships. It’s just also important to guide them toward building new friendships where they are now. Let’s look at how we can help.
Easing the Transition
Right after a move, kids might really need some more time online to stay connected with their old friends. This is completely normal, and it can be a helpful support as they adjust. Maintaining these friendships gives children a sense of familiarity when everything around them feels unfamiliar. However, as they settle in, you can gently encourage them to spend more time with new classmates, neighbors, or groups.
The shift doesn’t have to happen overnight. It helps if parents acknowledge how hard it can be to let go of old friendships, even when they still exist online.
At EKC, we recommend a gradual approach. In the first few months after the move, your child might rely heavily on digital interactions. Instead of forcing an abrupt change, try setting small, manageable goals to ease them into their new social environment. One way to do this is by agreeing on structured times for video calls or messages, rather than having ongoing digital conversations throughout the day. This way, old friendships can remain a stable part of their lives while making space for new ones.
At the same time, it’s a good idea to encourage real-world connections by getting your kids involved in their new community. Try finding activities where they might meet people with similar interests. Whether it’s sports, art classes, or just neighborhood gatherings, creating opportunities for in-person socialization can help the transition.
And it’s not just about connections outside the home—a move is a great time to reconnect as a family, too. Spending quality time together, sharing meals, playing games, or going to new places on the weekends is invaluable. It’s all about reminding your kids (and yourself!) that social connection doesn’t have to come solely from a screen. Instead of positioning tech as the problem, you can introduce alternatives that make real-world interactions just as engaging.
Modeling Healthy Habits
As with everything else, children take cues from their parents when it comes to screen use. If they see you constantly on your phone, responding to messages at all hours, they’ll naturally adopt similar habits. You can set the tone by showing your own balanced relationship with technology.
Being intentional about screen use sends a strong message. It doesn’t mean that you have to deprive yourself, either—it’s all about balance and being kind to yourself, too. If you need to check your phone, try saying the reason to show that it shows a purpose and isn’t just automatic.
Try introducing simple changes to reinforce the idea that technology is a tool rather than a constant necessity. You can put your phone away at meals, set boundaries around work emails in the evening, or actively engage in more screen-free activities. It might even be a good way to pick up that old hobby you haven’t tried in years!
Beyond your personal habits, it’s also important to be mindful of how you manage your own long-distance relationships. Just like your kids, you might be keeping in touch with friends and family in different time zones. And it’s hard, we know it’s hard. Your kids aren’t the only people who might feel a little unmoored during the transition. Keeping those international connections dear is healthy and good. It’s just a matter of handling the screen time thoughtfully, intentionally.
As with your children, try setting dedicated times for calls instead of sporadic check-ins during the day. Little changes like this show everyone in your family how to maintain meaningful relationships without becoming overly reliant on screens.
What if Friendships Fade?
Despite best efforts to stay in touch, long distance friendships don’t always last. Your child might feel extremely close to someone during a video call, only to feel painful distance when it ends. Over time, they might see signs that their friend is moving on without them. This can be heartbreaking, and your kids might need a little extra support from you to process those feelings.
One of the hardest parts of moving is realizing that some friendships will change, no matter how much effort they put into maintaining them. While some kids are able to keep close bonds, others might feel a growing sense of distance, even if they’re still in contact. It can be confusing to experience moments of deep connection, followed by such a quick feeling of disconnection when the call’s over. So what can you do to help?
The most important thing you can do is to acknowledge these emotions instead of brushing them aside. Validating your child’s feelings, whether it’s loneliness, sadness, frustration, or a sense of loss, can make it easier for them to process what’s happening.
It’s also important to keep an eye on who’s making the effort to keep the friendship going. Often, the child who moved is the one adjusting to time zone differences, staying up late, making sacrifices to stay in touch. This dynamic can be exhausting and sometimes unfair. It can help to remind your child that relationships should be mutual and their needs also matter.
Encourage them to talk about what they want from their friendships. This can help them set boundaries—and consider if it might be time to let go of a connection that no longer feels balanced.
Should I Use Screen Time As a Consequence?
This is a tough one. For many expat kids, online friendships are their main support system. If screen time is taken away as punishment, it doesn’t mean just losing access to entertainment. They’re suddenly cut off from their closest friends. At EKC, we recommend considering other forms of discipline that don’t isolate your child in an already difficult period.
It can be tempting to use screen time as a reward or punishment, but for expat kids, this approach can have unintended results. Taking away internet access for bad behavior might seem like a reasonable consequence. But for a kid who relies on online connections for emotional support, it can feel like losing their entire social world in an instant.
Rather than using tech as leverage, think about methods of discipline that address behavior without severing access to friendships. Maybe adjust privileges in other areas, set expectations around responsibilities, or focus on open conversations about behavior and consequences.
At the same time, it’s important to maintain a sense of balance and structure when it comes to online interactions. If your child’s struggling to manage screen time in a healthy way (like staying up too late for calls or being distracted by messages), step in with gentle guidance. Talk about time management, the importance of sleep, and the value of being present in their new environment.
Meet your children where they’re at: you know them and you know how to talk with them so they’ll understand. Trust your instincts and remind them that there’s so much world outside of their screens—and so much fun to be had.
Finding Your Groove (And Balance)
As your family adjusts to the move, it’ll get easier. Screen time isn’t the enemy, but it’s also not the only way to connect. Support your kids by allowing space for online friendships while also encouraging new bonds in your new home. As time goes on, you’ll all feel more grounded—both online and off.
A balanced approach means making space for all relationships, old and new, onscreen and outside. And don’t sweat it if there’s a little more screen time than usual during a move—this should gradually shift as your child settles in.
You’re doing a good job just by being there, acknowledging their feelings, and modeling your own healthy behaviors. Most of all, you’re helping by keeping an open dialogue, offering guidance, and being a safe space for your children in a turbulent time. You’ve got this!
Navigating a Change? EKC is Here to Help.
Expat Kids Club isn’t just for people who live abroad-–it’s for anyone who identifies as a current or former expat and needs support, anywhere in the world. We also offer video consults and appointments so our clients can build a stable, trusting relationship with their therapist, no matter where life takes them.
We specialize in helping people navigate new experiences and situations from the universal to the unique. Our mission is to help kids, teens, and families build resiliency, discover their identities and values, and form healthy coping strategies to manage the tough moments.
EKC recognizes the importance of treating the family as a unit, bringing everyone together. We work with an individual approach and a systemic mindset to determine the best through any challenge.
Schedule a call today to speak with one of our therapists and see how we can help your family thrive.