EKC Roundtable: Setting New Year's Resolutions That Stick (Especially for TCKs)
New Year’s resolutions can feel like a lot of pressure. For Third Culture Kids (TCKs), especially those who are still adjusting to a new country, resolutions can feel even heavier. We’re already playing life on hard mode! How do we balance different cultures AND invite more challenges into our lives at the very start of the year?
A “fresh start” can be motivating–but also overwhelming when it seems like perfection’s the goal. So let’s throw out the playbook and talk about how TCKs (and adults) can set realistic, helpful resolutions that last all year. We’re looking for resolutions that enhance our lives, not new chores we have to do. And with the right plan in place, it’s not only possible but exciting.
At EKC, we believe that resolutions should be meaningful. They should empower us, not stress us out. Last week, we held one of our EKC Roundtable discussions to rethink how TCKs and their families can create these resolutions—and keep it fun in the process. Here’s what we came up with.
Reframing Resolutions as Practices
EKC Psychologist Karen Schneider introduced the idea of moving away from the word “resolution” altogether! Instead, she suggests calling them “practices.” This shift helps move the focus away from perfection and toward progress. Resolutions can feel rigid, making it easy to get discouraged if you miss a day or slip up. But practices create space for growth.
If something doesn’t work out on a given day, you’re not failing—you’re still practicing! Practicing is an ongoing process where there’s room for learning and adjustment along the way.
She also recommends choosing a guiding “word for the year.” This word can serve as a gentle compass for your choices throughout the year, encouraging personal growth without the weight of strict rules. For example, if your word is “kindness,” (an excellent word), it can shape how you treat yourself and others in everyday situations. Words like “explore,” “patience,” or “courage” can help keep you on track, creating a positive focus point long after the original motivation fades.
Some people like to keep their word visible as a reminder—on a sticky note by the mirror, in a notebook, or even as a decorative piece in their space. Others create a practice around it, like writing down small moments where they embodied their word, or using it as a check-in during decision-making. Whatever the approach, the idea is to keep the focus on progress not perfection. “Progress” is a great word, too!
Start Anytime and Keep it SMART
EKC Therapist Maayan Cohen offered a powerful reminder: there’s nothing special about January 1st. It can feel like a symbolic starting point, but any day can be a fresh start! TCKs, who might already be navigating big life changes, benefit from the mindset that growth can happen at any time. It’s not related to when the calendar flips.
She finds it important to set resolutions in a way that feels manageable. One way by using the SMART approach: make goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Vague, ambitious goals can feel overwhelming and easy to give up on, something like “I want to get better at making friends.” A SMART goal would sound more like, “I will invite one classmate to hang out after school this month.”
Another example? Instead of resolving to “be more organized,” you could frame your goal as “I’ll spend 10 minutes every Sunday planning my weekly schedule.” Breaking down a big goal (organization) into small, clear actions (10 minutes of planning per week) helps build momentum. Suddenly, all those abstract “impossible tasks” become concrete actions!
Maayan also talked about the power of accountability for goals. Sharing your goals with a friend or family member with a similar intention can create a sense of partnership. Checking in with someone regularly adds a feeling of support and shared progress. It’s just nicer when goal-setting is a collaborative experience instead of a solitary challenge.
Making Goals Fun and Rewarding
EKC Therapist and Clinical Supervisor Jamie Rhiannon Fehribach approaches resolutions by focusing on what feels enjoyable and personally meaningful. For her, the idea of “building more community” was an overarching goal she wanted to work on.
She approached it as Maayan might: instead of leaving it vague, she broke it down into concrete monthly actions. One month she hosted a game night, another she volunteered, or reached out to someone new. Having smaller milestones made the goal feel more approachable. It also turned into something she looked forward to, instead of something that felt like work.
She also finds it helpful to make your resolutions playful! Make a bingo card where you can mark off your progress, or reward yourself for reaching milestones. It’s all about making personal growth feel exciting. When goals feel fun, they’re easier to stick with over time.
Jamie also encourages balancing goals for self-improvement with goals that bring simple joy. If you love art, a goal could be to visit a new museum every month. If you’re passionate about food, you could try cooking a dish from a different culture every couple of weeks. Personal growth and happiness go hand in hand when you create goals that genuinely excite you.
Meaningful Goals for TCKs
We also brainstormed some ideas for resolutions specifically suited to TCKs.
Jamie spoke about the importance of staying connected with friends and family back home in a purposeful way. It’s easy to have vague intentions like “stay in touch more.” Instead, she suggested scheduling regular calls, like a phone or video chat every two weeks with a close friend or grandparent. These small, consistent efforts can help TCKs maintain strong bonds even from far away.
She also uses an “Only Good Things Journal.” In this journal, she records small positive moments: a funny conversation, a good meal, or a kind word from a friend. It’s a little like a gratitude journal—and you can use some of the principles to make one yourself– but different in that the goal is simple joy. This has helped her focus on the positive, especially during challenging times. It offers a reminder of happiness even on the hard days.
Maayan added the idea of connecting more deeply with the place where you currently live. Taking a mindful walk can be a simple but powerful practice. Try focusing on sensory details, like how the air feels or the sounds around you. This kind of mindfulness can help TCKs feel more present and connected to their new environment.
She also suggests setting goals around curiosity, like trying one new food per month. You could also try having a “culture day” to explore something unique about the area. The two goals could combine if you visit a local market or try a holiday tradition.
When it comes to making new year’s resolutions as a TCK, our whole team agrees: your “resolutions” shouldn’t feel scary. Resolutions are resources, ways to give yourself permission to have fun and make space for something new. To try differently instead of harder. To give yourself grace and room to grow. You can do it! You’re already starting by reading this article—and every small step matters.
Navigating a Change? EKC is Here to Help.
Expat Kids Club isn’t just for people who live abroad – it’s for anyone who identifies as a current or former expat and needs support, anywhere in the world. We also offer video consults and appointments so our clients can build a stable, trusting relationship with their therapist, no matter where life takes them.
We specialize in helping people navigate new experiences and situations from the universal to the unique. Our mission is to help kids, teens, and families build resiliency, discover their identities and values, and form healthy coping strategies to manage the tough moments.
EKC recognizes the importance of treating the family as a unit, bringing everyone together. We work with an individual approach and a systemic mindset to determine the best through any challenge.
Schedule a call today to speak with one of our therapists and see how we can help your family thrive.