Dear EKC: I’m Feeling the January Blues

Dear EKC, 

Ugh. I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or overly sensitive but January feels like the worst month of the year. It feels like it’s going on forever, like this heavy cloud is over me and no matter what I do, I can’t shake it. The holidays are over so there’s nothing to look forward to anymore. School’s back and it feels like I’m just going through the motions. I’m not even getting excited about my favorite things right now. 

It’s not like anything’s “actually” wrong, like, my friends are great, my family’s great, and I’m doing okay in school. But I still feel kind of “off.” I just want to stay in bed and hide from everything.

I’ve heard people say things like “it’s just the winter blues,” but it feels like it’s more than that. Why is this time of year so hard? Is something wrong with me? What do I do to make things better? 

-Tired of January

Dear Tired,

I’m really glad you wrote in. We’re all there right now–you’re not alone by any means. This is one of the most common things kids and teens (and even adults) experience during this time of the year. There are some parts of January that affect all of us to an extent, and it's quite normal to feel less energetic, sad, or a lack of motivation.

There’s even a diagnostic term for this, “seasonal affective disorder.” Because it gets dark earlier and stays dark longer, we see the sun less. Not being in the sun as much can cause some brain chemicals levels to change, like having lower serotonin and more melatonin. This combination of lowered chemicals makes us less able to “feel happy” easily and keeps us tired. 

There is also a thing called “post holiday let-down.” After the excitement and social connections of the holidays, January can feel anticlimactic. The brain’s reward systems aren’t being stimulated in the same way anymore, leading to feelings of emptiness. Sometimes it helps me to remember that what I’m going through isn’t only normal, it’s scientifically-based. But let’s talk about other ways to help ourselves feel better, too. 

As with all emotions, the first and best thing we can do is to recognise and label our feelings. Think about what you’re feeling and give it a word. Say to yourself, “I’m sad right now,” or “I’m really tired.” This is in itself an act of mindfulness, and it also gives us a great opportunity to be kind to ourselves.

Give yourself a hug, reassuring yourself that it’s ok, it’s normal to feel a bit on the low. Take some deep breaths and a little break when the feelings are overwhelming. Maybe talk to your parents or friends and see if they’re feeling the same way, and how they handle these feelings. Connecting with people you love is a good way to give yourself a boost. 

Being more intentional about activities is another great way to beat the blues. Try to get outside when there is sunlight and do the activities which (usually) make you happy. You might find that they still do! Sadness can sometimes lead to thoughts that tell us that there’s no point in joining fun activities. This is actually a little trap our brains are making because of those lowered chemicals we talked about. Usually once we manage to join a fun activity, our mood also changes at least a little. 

Don’t forget that being active is always key! In winter we tend to be less active because many of the activities we normally do aren’t available, or are tougher to get to. Biking 30 minutes to a gym feels rather different in winter than during a nice sunny summer afternoon right? But don’t give up! Exercise keeps those good brain chemicals up and balanced so we feel happier and more like ourselves. 

But it’s also okay if there are those days where you feel like you really don’t have the energy to be active. When that happens, try cozy indoor activities to get your brain moving. This could be crafting, watching a movie with friends, writing in a journal, or reading a book. If you don't have the energy to get outside, open the window and take some breaths of fresh air. Fresh air can help “wake you up” a little bit and blow away a little of the fogginess.

Remember: January is a time when much of the natural world appears dormant, in a necessary pause before all the growth of spring. Just as nature takes a break, January invites us to slow down, reflect, and conserve energy for the growth to come.

For me personally, January is also about subtle change. Everything looks grey, and frozen, but at the same time, it’s after the winter solstice in December. January marks the gradual return of light. Days are growing longer, a subtle shift that I enjoy noticing every day. It can and will get better. 

If the feelings of sadness continue or get worse, you can always reach out to us. Our whole job here at EKC is to help you find tools that work for you, so you can start feeling better sooner. 

We’re rooting for you!

Adam Németh

Psychologist

ad hoc EKC team member