Dear EKC: How Can I Celebrate All the Places I've Lived?

Dear EKC, 

I don’t really know where I’m from. I mean, I do - I was born in the U.S. - but I’ve lived in six countries since then, and I don’t remember a time where we weren’t packing up for the next place. We have to move a lot for my dad’s job, and I get that it’s just part of life, but sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. 

Every place we’ve lived has been special in different ways. And I’ve loved them all! Or parts of them at least, like eating breakfast on the beach in Thailand, and holidays in Rio, and riding my bike in Amsterdam. Every time we leave, it feels like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind. I miss the friends I’ve made and little things too, like foods and our neighborhoods. 

I don’t want to forget these places, but I also don’t know how to keep them as part of my life when we keep moving. How do I hold all of them without feeling like I have to choose just one? 

-Always Moving

Dear Always, 

First of all, I love that you want to celebrate the places you’ve lived instead of just feeling like you have to leave them behind! That’s such an important mindset to have because you’re right: every place you’ve been is a part of you, and you don’t have to choose just one to call “home.” But I know it can be hard, too, and I’m really glad you reached out. Let’s brainstorm a bit.

One thing that can help is setting aside time to just think about the places you’ve lived and what they meant to you. How old were you when you lived there? Who were the people that made that time special? What traditions or experiences do you want to keep with you? 

Once you’ve thought about that, try to make space in your life to honor those memories. You could pick a special day each year (or even each month!) to celebrate a specific place. Maybe that means cooking a favorite meal from that country, wearing something that reminds you of it, or listening to music in the language spoken there. 

Holidays are also a great way to stay connected to your past homes. If you celebrated national or religious holidays while you lived somewhere, you can keep that tradition alive—even if you’re in a different country now. And if you made friends in those places, staying in touch with them can help keep your connection strong. Holidays are a great time to reach out!

Another thing that might help is finding a community of people who share parts of your background. That could mean making friends from the same places you’ve lived, joining an international club at school, or just talking to people about the countries you’ve been in. The more you share your experiences, the more they stay part of your life, rather than something in the past. 

And don’t be afraid to mix things up! You don’t have to celebrate each culture separately—you can blend them together in ways that feel natural to you. Maybe that means decorating your room with souvenirs from different places, or watching shows or movies from your other homes. You can even make your own personal traditions that bring everything together. 

Something that I find helps when I move is to keep a “box of special things” that you take with you from place to place. It doesn’t have to be fancy–mine is an old cookie tin–but it should be small enough that you can carry it easily. You can put little things from every place you’ve lived in there, like rocks you’ve found or a friendship bracelet or pictures. When you feel like you need to remember and reconnect, just open the box! It’s a tangible reminder of your beautiful life story. 

Most importantly, remind yourself that you don’t have to fit into just one place. You’ve collected pieces of different cultures, traditions, and ways of life, and that makes you unique. You are a combination of everywhere you’ve been, and that’s something truly worth celebrating. 

I can’t wait to see what you come up with! 

Best of luck,

Maayan Cohen

Ad hoc EKC Team Member & Psychologist