Bouncing Back from Post-Holiday Vibes: Tips & Tricks for TCKs
Ever find yourself snug at home, reveling in the blissful absence of the morning alarm during winter break, only to be rudely awakened the next day by the unwelcome chime of class bells? From a calendar dotted with exciting places to explore and people to meet, you suddenly find it crammed with tight deadlines and classes. As we all return from winter break and reenter school and work life, we’re all feeling more than a little overwhelmed, and even sad.
But…why is it so hard?
That longing to be back in vacation mode hits hard as the routine kicks in again. Re-adjusting to the familiar school schedule can be a real challenge, especially for Third Culture Kids (TCKs) whose holidays involve globetrotting and reuniting with friends from around the world. Going back to the usual school routine feels hard because it's so different from the free and diverse experiences they have during vacations. The abrupt transition to the back-to-school season can trigger stress, sadness, and nostalgia for the carefree winter days. Despite being accustomed to the constant movement, making new friends, and adapting to new routines, the nostalgia of the holiday season is a unique struggle.
So, how can we tackle this situation?
First things first – acceptance. We know the word gets thrown around a lot, but bear with us. Acceptance here doesn't mean plastering a fake smile and saying "okay, I'm fine with this." We’re talking about radical acceptance, which you may have heard of if you’re familiar with acceptance and commitment therapy. Practising radical acceptance means allowing yourself to feel the rush of nostalgia and sadness without pushing it away. Let those emotions flow; understanding them helps you figure out what you need in the moment.
This is easier said than done though! Uncomfortable emotions are, well, uncomfortable. We don’t necessarily want to feel sad or mad or other tough emotions. These feelings can seem to take over quickly, leaving you overwhelmed. That's when a friendly ear can work wonders. If your child is feeling sad and struggling to sit with those feelings, try to start a conversation with them. Expressing your feelings in words is surprisingly liberating, and chances are, someone close is grappling with the same emotions. Why not tackle it together? This can not only teach your child how to be more comfortable with emotions and improve their wellbeing, but it’s also an excellent opportunity to strengthen your bond with your child.
It’s possible your child might not want to talk straight away. This is normal - it can be scary to open up and start expressing uncomfortable emotions. If your child is struggling to talk about how they are feeling with you, you can encourage them to write about these feelings, or even draw them! You can also encourage them to connect with a therapist who is trained to help kids talk about tough emotions and gives your child a safe space to express themselves.
When you’re feeling really stuck, it can help to identify little joys and gratitudes. Ask your child, What are you looking forward to at school? Friends, a favorite subject, or maybe just the comfort of your go-to cafeteria food? This will remind your child that there are other sides to the situation and can help unstuck them from focusing too much on the not-so-nice aspects of leaving the holidays and returning to school.
Lastly, remember – this feeling of nostalgia, sadness, or uneasiness is temporary. With time, your child will settle back into the rhythm, occupied with day-to-day life. New experiences await, and you'll reconnect with old friends while making new ones. School can be annoying, sure, but it's also a lot of fun. And when you least expect it, the next vacation will be right around the corner! It can help to share these reminders with your child, too.
At the Expat Kids Club, we're here to support families and their children in navigating life's tricky adjustments. Check out our website to learn more about how we can assist you on this journey!